Market Report for Thursday, September 25, 2025 Markets drifted lower today like a wedding band on its third soggy encore. Washington rehearsed its favorite pantomime, shutdown brinkmanship, while Fedsters lobbed wet blankets over the dance floor. Enthusiasm for rate cuts has wilted… _________________ To read the rest of this report—and all of Jason’s evening dispatches […]
Author Archives: Jason Kelly
Dow Jonesing for Lithium
Market Report for Wednesday, September 24, 2025 Markets spent today as tired and anxious as a hungover trust fund kid, vaguely offended by reality. Stocks slid for the second straight day, oil kept climbing, gold sulked, and the Fed wheezed into its microphone about “careful pacing.” Level Change 9/24/25 (%) – – – – – […]
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Powell Discovers Valuations
Market Report for Tuesday, September 23, 2025 Stocks stumbled today, megatech limping like a greyhound after a night at the track. Breadth was positive, indicating the small fry didn’t drown quite as fast as the whales. From the Zen riddler lectern, Powell reprised his comments from last week, and in the Q&A, discovered valuations. Level […]
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AI Buys the World a Coke
Market Report for Monday, September 22, 2025 Stocks floated higher like an overinflated pool toy: buoyant, oblivious, one sharp rock away from deflation. Wall Street rolled the dice again today. Records were extended, AI was canonized, and the Fed recited its usual contradictory haikus. Level Change 9/22/25 (%) – – – – – – – […]
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Breaking: Stocks Rise When Rates Fall
Market Report for Thursday, September 18, 2025 Wall Street performed a textbook Pavlov today: the bell rang (a Fed rate cut), and prices salivated. Megatech indexes set records, small caps turned cartwheels, and JPMorgan’s “sell the news” warning was drowned out by barking buyers. Level Change 9/18/25 (%) – – – – – – – […]
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