Market Report for Thursday, July 24, 2025
Markets drifted into Thursday’s close like a lazy canoe ride—just enough movement to keep things interesting, but not enough to get wet. Megatech pulled in opposite directions, leaving the rest of the market paddling in circles with salad forks.
Level Change 7/24/25 (%)
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
-0.7 Dow
+0.2 Nasdaq
+0.3 Nasdaq 100
+0.1 S&P 500
-0.9 S&P 400
-1.6 S&P 600
The S&P 500 and Nasdaq managed fresh all-time highs by the skin of their megacap teeth, though participation was light and enthusiasm lighter. Equal-weight indexes sagged, with small caps stumbling over rising yields and declining relevance.
Google (GOOG +0.9%) did its part to keep the AI dream alive—and well-funded.
Its Q2 report served up hearty beats on revenue, profit, and cloud growth, proof that sprinkling AI jargon over a very non-AI business model can still fool almost everyone. Booming ad sales and YouTube’s transformation from cat-video depot to living room staple added the cherry. The formula is simple: let ads do the lifting while AI takes the bow.
That Google plans to burn through $85B this year to stay in the AI arms race didn’t so much as ruffle a hair on its fan base. The real business funds the AI habit, and investors seem happy to foot the bill.
Then there’s Tesla (TSLA -8.2%), the AI company that still moonlights in car manufacturing.
Shares skidded more than 8% after CEO Elon Musk warned of a few challenging quarters, which, in Musk-speak, could mean anything from tighter margins to colonizing Europa. Car sales fell, regulatory credit revenue plunged, and investors—already acclimated to the smell of scorched expectations—reached for the Febreze.
The Republican budget law scraps EV incentives, something Musk initially waved off, until analysts pegged the cost to Tesla of up to $1B a year. Now, he’s paying attention.
Chinese competitors steadily improve on an already strong base, while Tesla’s earnings trajectory now resembles a Cybertruck panel: oddly shaped and full of dents. Musk tried to redirect attention to robotaxis, which are either the future of transport or a Philip K. Dick subplot, depending on your appetite for faith-based investing.
If Google’s results showed that chasing AI dreams doesn’t preclude turning a profit, Tesla’s reminded us that eccentricity and politics don’t always mix well.
Google executes, Tesla promises. Romantic Wall Streeters can’t resist a good story, but even romance has earnings season.
— Jason Kelly
_________________
You’re getting the mild analgesic. The full dose, including side effects and hallucinations, is for paid subscribers.
