Consume, consume, consume!

You know what all the analysts are predicting. You know how down in the dumps the stock market has been. You know how every year for the first three weeks of November economists say that the American consumer is dead.

Let’s prove them all wrong, yet again. Today is Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year. Get out and do your part! Buy something, then buy something else, then something else, and just when you think you’ve bought enough, buy more!

If you’re reading this at home now, you may already be too late for the early-bird specials, though. Despite the dour predictions, consumers have already headed to the malls to get ready for the big day.

Luigi sent this yesterday:

I have been notified by a friend that there are people camped in tents in the parking lot of a local BestBuy. Beats spending Thanksgiving at home, I suppose, and all those bargains tomorrow will make up for the mortgage they couldn’t afford.

Right, and there’s nothing like a good shopping spree to get over depression about the falling value of a home. In any event, with all the bankruptcies on the way, folks might as well use it before they lose it — credit, that is.

Run the charges to the moon, send retail stocks climbing when they beat their low earnings estimates, sell shares in those stocks, hide the proceeds, and declare bankruptcy. If ever there was a recipe for a strong economy, surely that’s it.

This just in: stores are open right now! Stop reading, put all your credit cards in your pocket, and head out the door.

Do it for the economy.

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